My Second Son’s Birth

My second birth was so beautiful it was honestly my dream birth! 

At 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant, on Sunday, August 4, I woke up at around 7:30 AM to contractions that continued throughout the day.

I realized that these contractions were likely latent or prodromal labor and that my body was beginning the footwork to start early labor.

I took to heart what my doula had instructed before and I planned to distract myself from early labor as long as possible. 

After church, I was able to take a little nap and from about 4pm  to 10 pm, I worked to clean and organize our house (we had just moved two months prior) because funny timing—we had guests coming! My in-laws were driving from New England to Texas and planned to stop on the way. 

They arrived at 10 pm and I turned in at 10:30 pm but I probably didn’t end up going to bed until about midnight.

I was determined to learn from the mistakes I had made in labor with my first son so, whereas last time, I had felt too uncomfortable and too excited to sleep and I had tracked my contractions all night, this time, I tried to get some rest.

Somehow, I was able to get comfortable enough to sleep. I woke up to uncomfortable contractions probably 5 times but each time I was able to re-situate myself and drift back off to sleep.

I woke up at about 7:30 am on Monday morning to a contraction. 

When I went to pee first thing, I wiped myself and saw that some of my mucus plug had come off onto the toilet paper. I texted my midwife who told me that I was in early labor! 

I opted to stay in our room in the morning just to have some privacy and my husband went out to visit with family and take care of our 20 month old son Abe. 

I took a shower and listened to my birth soundtrack. I got dressed, used the birth ball while I listened to my hypo birthing track and then I used the ball to call various pediatricians with some questions.

I finally emerged from my room around 10 am. I knew that I needed to eat so that I would have the energy and strength to birth a baby so I ate some eggs and a bagel.

We probably sat together as family and talked in the kitchen area until about 11 and while I sat in the kitchen, I found myself sitting forward and leaning on the table when a wave would come on, or standing in the kitchen and leaning on a counter to breath and work through them. I didn’t want to create a scene in front of my in-laws so I tried to be very subtle and not let on. 

At one point, my husband, who was observing my behavior and checking his watch, whispered to me that the contractions averaged about 6 minutes apart. I told him that he was wrong and not to worry, that things were going slow and I was fine.

I texted my doula that I was in early labor but that if I had to guess, I wouldn’t deliver the baby until the middle of the night or first thing the next morning.

However, the contractions were getting longer and stronger and closer together and they were harder for me to disguise. So, as I felt one come on, I would casually walk to the hall, out of sight, where I would then lean against the wall and breathe and sway my hips from side to side. 

Fortunately, my brother in-law wanted to go play frisbee golf and my father and mother in-law left with them. This gave me more privacy to get into various labor positions and breathe through waves without an audience, though my teenage sister in-law still sat on a couch in our adjoining living room. So, when a wave would come on, I would duck down behind that island where no one could see me and get down on hands and knees and sway. 

Things progressed and while my in-laws were still gone, I panicked to my husband that I didn’t think I could have them here while labor got more intense. We devised a game plan. Neighbors had offered to watch my son Abe while I was laboring but the idea stressed me out. Ultimately, we decided that we would keep him at home with us and try to put him down in his own bed so that I could labor throughout the night and potentially deliver in the morning. If we still needed help then, we could always send him over the next day. We strategically planned things so that our son would not get his nap for the day and would then be tired enough to fall asleep early.

When my in-laws came back, around 1:00 pm, my husband explained to them that I was in labor and didn’t know how long it would take but that we needed some privacy so, with all the love in our hearts, could they please go soon.

It took a while for our family to be ready to go, and they left around 2:30 pm. 

In the meantime, things had gotten more intense. While we were still waiting for them to leave, the contractions started to get powerful enough that once out of sight in the hall, I now needed to get down on my hands and knees and practice breathing through the waves..

With more frequent trips to the hall to get on my hands and knees, I was eager to have my own space and waved goodbye to my in-laws from the garage as they drove away. 

As soon as they left, things picked up. It was as if my body had willed itself to not go into active labor until our guests were gone and I was once again comfortable in my own space.

We decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood and do curb walks. As we pushed my son in a stroller, we would often take breaks for me to wrap my arms around Hunter’s neck and hang or lean on him. 

At one point, I told him that I would say this once and then I wouldn’t put it into the universe again, but teared up as I wondered out loud if we didn’t need to go to the hospital so that they could just give me the good stuff because I had forgotten how painful labor was but, now that I had done this once before, I knew that things would only get even more painful and based on how long things had taken the last time, I didn’t know if I could go through all that again. 

Hunter gently reminded me of the reasons I wanted to deliver at home and he encouraged me.

When we got back home, Hunter watched and played with our son so that I could continue to calmly work through contractions. Still trying to distract myself from labor, without wearing myself out, I tried to tidy my house. Hunter helped prevent our baby from getting into things and undoing all my hard work and then he put him in the bath.

While I was kneeling at our living room couch, leaned over and moaning through a painful contraction, my husband heard me from the bathroom and popped over to check on me. When he rubbed my back and said something sympathetic, I just burst out sobbing. I cried to him that I couldn’t keep doing it and later he told me that when he saw me cry, he figured I was at least at a 6. 

He suggested that we call our doula or midwife but I regained composure and told him that I was fine and it was still too soon.

Again, based on prior experience, I was convinced that this labor would take much longer and that I would have to undergo that much more pain before delivery. They say that first time births are always the longest and that subsequent births go much faster, but I figured that much faster than 38 hours (my last birth) could still qualify as 24 hours, so that’s what I anticipated.

However, shortly after, at 5pm, I desperately asked Hunter to text my midwife and doula.

We texted my doula first and not too long after, my midwife, who lived an hour away.

My doula came at 5:30 pm. When she walked into my room, I cried. I was just so relieved to have a support person there because we couldn’t do it alone and we needed help! She was amazing. She hugged me and held me as I sobbed into her shoulder and she reassured me that I was close to meeting my new baby! She was very positive and encouraging throughout.

She immediately went to work and blew up our birth tub. She then helped my husband fill it with water by hooking up the hose to the shower. Then, she helped watch Abe so that Hunter could finally focus his attention on me.

At 6:30, I was desperate for my midwife to come. No sooner had I cried “where is she?!” did she appear.

I heard her walk into the bedroom but I was hunched over the birth ball and moaning while my husband held my back.

When the wave had passed and my midwife got down to put her arm around me and reassure me, I once again burst into tears. I was so grateful that she was there. 

There was less time between contractions now. I wanted so badly to get into the water, but I didn’t want to make the same mistake as last time and get in too soon. So I wanted to be checked before getting in; yet, I didn’t have time to sit still enough for her to check me because I was just moving from one contraction to another.

She later told me that based on that first contraction that she had just witnessed, she’d known then that I was getting really close. 

I had been drinking a lot of water so I went to the bathroom to pee. My midwife crouched down in front of me and when I sat down I felt a “pow pow” of pressure on my pelvic floor.  I looked at her in shock. It couldn’t already be that time I thought to myself. But I told her and immediately felt another wave come on.

So with the next wave, I went back to the bed and leaned against it. 

I begged to be checked (because I still didn’t believe that I was as far as long as I was) but my midwife told me that if I laid on the bed for her to check me, that I would have my baby there and since my plan was to have a water birth, I could get in the tub and she could try to check me from an angel. 

I got in the tub, thinking that the immersion of my body under water would relieve the pain but surprisingly, it didn’t. Things were still so intense that I still needed counter pressure. I got into the tub on my knees and hung my arms over the side. 

My midwife checked and told me that I was past a 9 and just had a cervical lip.

When I transitioned, I threw up over the side of the birth tub. My sweet doula immediately cleaned it up. 

My husband went to put Abe to bed at 6:35 pm (miraculously, he went down so fast) and came back at 6:45 pm. His timing was a miracle and he was able to see my water break and be there for all the pushing. 

Just as I think my body willed itself to hold off on going into active labor until after my in-laws had gone, I think my body held off on transitioning until my oldest son was down.

After transition, my doula congratulated me. She told me that I had just gotten through the worst of it and that the pushing was the easy part. 

But the pushing turned out to be the hardest part for me. I threw up again over the side of the tub while pushing. I think that I pushed too hard and I felt myself tearing. I also felt myself stretching. This time, I definitely felt the ring of fire and understood how it earned its name. It was burning and stinging and I screamed. They reminded me to use other, more productive sounds but I just screamed. 

Our baby was born at 7:01 pm. When my midwife told me that my baby was coming, I turned around just in time and was able to watch my baby’s body float up to the surface of the water. 

Holding my baby for the first time, I was in awe.

I got my golden hour with our baby. 

Then the midwife stitched me up. I had second degree tears.

My doula helped me take a shower. I was honestly SO sweaty after all the hard work of laboring and it felt so good to get into my comfy pajamas and climb into my clean made bed. 

Our midwife did the newborn check and she and Hunter weighed and measured him. He was 21.5 inches tall and weighed 8 lbs. 9 ounces. 

My doula and midwife were incredible. They emptied the pool and cleaned up, started laundry and took out the trash. We all basked in the moment and after they made sure that we were all okay, they left around 11/11:30pm. 

We didn’t go to bed until 1 am because we were in awe of our new and precious baby who was wide eyed and alert. I couldn’t have asked for a better birth experience! <3